


Wild Things

by 6feetbelow0



Category: Bringing Up Baby (1938), Lore Olympus (Webcomic)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Romantic Comedy, non-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-26 06:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21370021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6feetbelow0/pseuds/6feetbelow0
Summary: When small agents of chaos upend neatly ordered lives.
Relationships: Hades/Persephone (Lore Olympus)
Comments: 52
Kudos: 98





	1. Mile a Minute

**Author's Note:**

> Within the scope of this "universe" it is assumed that all gods and goddesses do not necessarily know each other, let alone work closely with one another.

Hades pushed his black framed glasses back into place as he studied the daily shade reports. Incoming numbers was always good business, but these rates were a bit steep. He ran a hand through his sterling hair, causing it to flop forward over his brow. He simply had to get a handle on what was happening in the mortal realm. He hadn’t seen incoming numbers like this since the last time that Ares had taken it upon himself to start another argument with the Spartans. The Underworld was vast, but it would quickly become a processing issue without some sort of intervention.

A delicate knock on the door shook Hades from his number crunching. He smiled at the prim, red figure that made her way into his office. “O-oh! Good morning, Minthe, my dear!” He stood, rounding the desk to give her a kiss.  
  
She held up a stack of files in front of herself, cutting off his access. “Hades. Please. Remember your place. It simply isn’t the done thing to have the King behaving in such a way” She smoothed her crimson hair with the palm of her hand as though even the suggestion he would kiss her had ruffled her decency.

Hades blushed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “B-but don’t you think it’s time we made an exception to that?” Minthe scoffed and began to organize the files on Hades’ desk, ever efficient, ever icy.

“I’ve told you, tomorrow changes nothing.”

“B-but Tadpole,” Hades moved to grasp Minthe’s elbows, stilling her work. “Our wedding is tomorrow!”

Minthe calmly peeled Hades’ hands from her arms and shook her head “Please don’t call me that. I’ve told you that changes nothing. Our marriage is simply to make everything within the Underworld move more smoothly. We won’t be bothering with domestic business.”

Hades’ face fell “What about a honeymoon at least? Every man gets a honeymoon!”

His entreaty was only met with pursed lips and a curt shake of the head to the negative. “We simply don’t have time. You have entirely too many commitments that need your personal attention.” She rested her hand on Hades’ forearm “You must maintain focus. You have an important meeting tomorrow with someone with extensive knowledge of the mortal realm. One hopes we can get to the bottom of this flood of shades.”

“Yes, dear.”

* * *

Candles flickered from ornate sconces in the foyer of the Olympus restaurant as sparkling figures arrived. Hades hated these kinds of things. The stuffy tuxedo, the stilted conversation, the generally strange food. He fidgeted idly with one of his cufflinks awaiting the arrival of the Goddess of the Crossroads. A flash of pink in Hades’ peripheral vision immediately preceded the sudden sensation of champagne down his right leg. He started and moved to tap the shoulder of the small goddess absentmindedly holding her champagne glass at a dangerous angle.

“Well, you see I hadn’t ever seen that kind of animal before and it was HUGE!” the petite figure laughed boisterously to her companion, gesticulating wildly and managing to splash the remainder of her glass into Hades’ face.  
  
“Oh! Oh no! I’m so very sorry!” She yelped, placing a hand over her mouth.  
  
Hades swept the sparkling wine out of his eyes and met the gaze of his assailant. She was a positively tiny thing, bright pink with riotous curls and an open, lively face. His breath was slightly knocked out by the sight of her curves draped in the iridescent gown she wore, or perhaps it was the fact that she promptly trod on his foot.

“You’ll have to excuse me, miss. I appear to be in need of a napkin.” He said tersely, bowing slightly to take his leave.

“Nonsense! Let me help you! All my fault, you know. Everything’s going to be fine!” She clasped his arm and began to drag him through the milling crowd. Hades had no choice but to be pulled helplessly along while the petite goddess chattered without a breath.

“Miss. Miss! Please. I need to go back!” He tried pulling his weight a bit to slow her but found that she had him entirely too far off balance to effect any change. She swung to a stop at the gleaming wooden bar, depositing him roughly at a stool, and began patting at him wildly with the first towel she found.

  
  
“You simply can’t looking like this! All my fault you know!” She really never stopped, did she? Hades tried to catch her flailing hands, only to wind up catching himself hard in the nose with a fist.

“OH!” Her jaw dropped and she froze. “Oh no.”

Hades took a steadying breath and screwed his face up trying to shake off the watering in his eyes. “Miss…” he began slowly “As I was trying to explain to you, I have to go back. I am here to meet someone.”

The small goddess’ face fell, and Hades felt it in his gut. He had only met her. Why did he care if this chaotic ball of fluff was sad? He hardly knew her. He _didn’t _know her.

“Oh… of course you are. I-I was only trying to help.” She lowered her hands and backed away from him.

  
  
“I understand and thank you.” Hades turned to leave, only to be greeted with a tearing noise from behind him.

  
  
“Oh no.” He turned and saw the look of chagrin on the face of the small goddess. She bit her lip and pointed to the tails of his tuxedo, that were now tail, one having been torn free by a sharp bit of brass on the bar.

  
  
Hades drew in a deep breath. So much for his meeting. What kind of impression was he going to make covered in champagne, wearing a torn coat and likely sporting a burgeoning black eye? Hades leaned down and said in a low voice, “My dear. Let’s play a game. I am going to go over there and leave the building” he pointed to the entrance “And you? You can stay right here” he pointed downward with both hands, indicating their current location “And I will never see you again.” He clamped his mouth into a hard line and walked quickly to the exit, praying that the small ball of chaos wasn’t hot on his heels.

“Oh, but it was just a mistake! I didn’t do it! Well, I did some of it, but I didn’t mean to!”

No such luck.

A furious clicking of small shoes finally closed in on him and a pink hand closed around his wrist. “You aren’t even going to give me a chance to explain? That’s not very good of you. I would give _you _the chance to explain!” she rattled on a mile a minute until suddenly catching her foot in her gown and pitching forward. Another tearing noise greeted Hades’ efforts to catch her. Oh, gods! The strap on her dress! He yelped and grasped her shoulders to hold the torn fabric in place.  
  
“See! Now you’re pushing me around and I haven’t even learned your name! You are awfully fixated on me! Well, let me tell you, I shan’t have anything to do with you!” The small goddess twisted out of his grasp and the shoulder of her gown fell forward. Hades quickly rounded her and pressed his body into hers in an effort to maintain her modesty.  
  
“Oh, miss! Don’t. Please.” Hades blushed furiously. He peered down his nose at the small goddess, her face screwed up in frustration.

“_And I’ll never see you again_!” She growled in a poor imitation of Hades’ voice “Yet here you are trying to _hold _me, of all things!”

“Oh. Forget it.” Hades shook his head dolefully and stepped back from the small pink form. As he did, the fabric fell again, this time alerting the owner. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth popped open in a small “o”.

“OH! Oh no!” She clutched at her chest, trying desperately to replace the sparkling gown. “Help me!” She whispered tersely.

“Ok. Hold on.” Hades moved behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, holding the loose fabric in place. “Now walk with me.” He steered the small form towards the exit, narrowly avoiding colliding with a slim blue goddess in a tuxedo.  
  


“Oh! Hecate! I-I’ll be with you in a minute!” Hades shouted over his shoulder as they brushed past her and out into the night.

* * *

Hades sat with his head resting in his hands. This evening was an unmitigated disaster. He looked up to watch the small pink goddess mending his coat.

Persephone.

He had finally learned that her name was Persephone. He still had no idea what she was goddess _of_, but he would be wise to bet that it was something completely unhinged. She had offered to take him back to her apartment and repair his coat for him. He supposed it was the least she could do.

“Of all the nights. Of all gods and goddesses and nymphs I just _had _to meet you.”

Persephone smiled brightly. “Well, that’s very flattering, if not a little strange.”

“Not exactly what I meant.” Hades lamented. “I had a very important meeting this evening. I was there to meet the Goddess of the Crossroads. There’s a problem in the Underworld and she very likely could have helped me, but now her first impression of me is covered in wine and shoving you out the door.” He dropped his head into his hands again.

“OH! Well that’s Te Te!” she deftly snipped the thread she had run through the tails of Hades’ coat.

“I have no idea what that means.” Hades held his hand out to take his coat from her. He shrugged into it and inspected himself in the mirror. At least she was a damn competent seamstress.

“Hecate. I call her Te Te. She’s a lovely old friend! Known her for years. I was there to have dinner with her.”

Hades spun around and stared at her in disbelief. He hadn’t often been privy to obviously fated moments in his life, but this was certain to be one.

“Oh no. S-she knows you. So now I’m not only shoving _someone _out the door, I’m shoving her friend out the door.” His knees gave out and he collapsed back onto the settee. “Disaster. Absolute disaster.” He continued muttering to himself.

Persephone waved her hand dismissively “Oh posh. If we hurry, we can catch her before she is done with dinner. If not, we can go to her house!” She grinned and snatched a coat off the back of a chair. She had changed out of her ruined gown into a simple dark dress made of some kind of stiff fabric that framed her small waist beautifully. Hades shook his head to try to rattle loose the thoughts creeping in at the periphery. He was getting married tomorrow. He couldn’t be thinking about how her small waist would fit beautifully into his hands.

“Are you sure?”

“Oh, just positive! Come on!” Persephone grasped his hand and Hades’ heart did a small somersault in his chest.

“This feels like a very bad idea.”

* * *

“Are you certain this is Hecate’s home?” Hades extended a hand to help Persephone out of the car.

  
  
“Well, of course! Been here a million times!” She chirped.

“I-I only ask because we drove past this house at least 3 times.”

Persephone marched up to the front door and rang the bell repeatedly. “Oh, but it’s such a nice night for it!” Hades grasped Persephone’s hand to stop the incessant ringing.

“Y-you know, being this obnoxious at her home is not likely to curry any favor with her.”

“Pssh. Nonsense. But it’s fine. I know where Te Te’s room is.” Persephone grasped Hades’ wrist and dragged him to follow her around the side of the house. If nothing else, Persephone was right, it was a nice night for it. Whatever _it _was turning out to be.  
  
“This is definitely a bad idea.”

Persephone bent over to dig in the garden. “Oh, but I heard that if you throw pebbles at the window people will think it’s hail and they come to check!” She popped upright, spun around, and in one smooth motion launched a fist full of dirt at an upper floor window.

“Fantastic” grumbled Hades, shaking his head. “Just perfect.”

Persephone stood for a moment with her fists resting on her wide hips. “Huh. Must not have been big enough” she bent over to dig in the garden bed again.

“This is unbelievable…” Hades began, choking on the remainder of the sentence as a light popped on in Hecate’s house. The window swung open to reveal a drowsy looking Hecate with a silken head wrap on.  
  
“Hades? Is that you?”

“PERFECT!” shouted Persephone before spinning around and hurling a fist sized stone at the window.

The stone connected with a sickening crack…

With the head of the Goddess of the Crossroads.

Hecate clasped a hand to her head and dropped out of sight.

Persephone gasped and grabbed Hades’ arm roughly.

“Oh, no! RUN!”


	2. The Gift

“G’morning, Hades! Do you want a multi-headed beast?”

Hades pulled the phone away from his ear and blinked at it.

Returning to the receiver he stammered “I-I’m sorry?”

“I said: “Do you want a multi-headed beast?”” The mischievous voice on the line could only belong to one goddess. Fates help him.

“Good morning, Persephone. No, I am afraid I’m not exactly in the market for a beast.”

A small huff of indignance sounded in his ear. “But it has multiple heads. Very rare.”

“Regardless of the number of heads, I simply do not need a beast.” Hades clamped the receiver against his shoulder and turned to the mirror to finish the knot on his tie.

“Well, what am _I _supposed to do with it?”

“Wait. You _have _one?” His hands stilled as he awaited her response.

“Well, obviously!” she began in frustration “I don’t just call people and offer them beasts I don’t _have_. But you’re the only zoologist I know!”

“W-what gave you the impression that I’m a zoologist?” Hades shrugged into his blazer and sat down; not entirely certain he wasn’t going crazy.

“Oh, don’t ask silly things. I need your help! My friend Hermes was in the mortal realm and he found this beast and he’s sent it to me. Now I need to figure out what to do with it.”

Hades shook his head to remove the fog of confusion. That must be it. She’s the goddess of confusion.

“I’m afraid I can’t help you. You see, I’m getting married today.” He stood and looped his hand through the telephone cradle to carry it with him as he searched for his shoes.

“Why would you do a thing like that?” Persephone sighed.

“I-I’m not sure how to answer that.”

“Hades, are you going to help me with my beast or not?” Persephone sighed.

“Not.”

“OH! Oh no!” a small yelp and a crash came through the phone.

“Persephone! Are you ok?” Hades froze, heart pounding “Is it the beast?!”

“N-no, I just… I mean YES! YES! The beast is loose!” sounds of crashing and Persephone’s shrieks of “Ohhh HADES! Help!!” came roaring through the phone. Oh, gods, Hades wasn’t going to forgive himself if something had happened to her because he wouldn’t help.

“Persephone! Persephone hold on! I’m coming!” Hades dropped the phone not bothering with hanging it back in the cradle and tore out of his apartment, dreading what he was about to find.

* * *

Persephone opened the door, smiling brightly and very obviously not being mauled by a beast. Hades darted past her into the apartment and looked around wildly.

“You... you’re ok?” He grasped her elbows and examined her face for signs of damage.

“Of course, I am Hades.” Persephone crooned and looked up at him dreamily. For the barest moment he was seized with the powerful urge to press his lips to hers. Madness. Maybe she’s the goddess of madness.

Hades stepped back from her, his face hardening “There’s no beast is there?”

Persephone spun and positively glided over to her desk, she sat and pulled up a letter.

“Oh no, there is! See!” she waved the letter at Hades “_Dear Perse, _that’s what Hermes calls me, _Dear Perse, I hope this finds you well. I was on holiday in the mortal realm and I came across the most marvelous animal. He’s gentle as a kitten, adores music and likes dogs._I wonder if he means to play with or to eat? _I haven’t named him yet, but I thought you might enjoy his company until I return. Feel free to bring him to the farm as it might make caring for him easier. Love, Hermes. _See!” she slapped the letter down on the desktop as though that thoroughly settled the matter.

Hades shook his head as Persephone hopped to her feet and skipped over to a door. “Persephone, that proves absolutely n-noTHING!” he finished his sentence on a screech as she swung open the bathroom door and a hulking black figure with three heads made its way into the room. 

“Persephone! Get back!” Hades yelped. He bounded across the floor and snatched the small, pink goddess up, darting out into the hallway and slamming the door behind him. Clutching her to his chest, he panted, trying to slow the hammering of his heart. What in fates name was _that_?!

“What on earth are you doing?!” Persephone struggled against Hades’ chest. He had pulled her up, nose to nose with him and she leveled her best look of disgruntlement at him.

“Trying to make sure we don’t get eaten!” Hades gritted at her.

“Well,” Persephone forced her way out of his arms and stomped her small foot “I am taking him to the farm and I really need your help! You must, Hades!”

“Absolutely not. The only thing I _must _do today is go back to the Underworld and get married. Good day!”

“Fine! Quitter.” Persephone slid a sidelong glance at Hades as he retreated down the hall. She opened the door and beckoned the animal to her “Go on!” she whispered, gathering her coat and hat, and the black mass followed Hades down the stairs.

* * *

Hades took a deep breath and did his best to gather his wits. Something about Persephone disarmed him every single time. What on earth had possessed him? He had abandoned getting ready for his own wedding to dash across town and save her from, what? What even was that thing? He set off along the sidewalk trying to ignore creeping thoughts of that small pink face so close to his. Her soft form pressed against his chest.

“Hades.” He glanced up to see Persephone sitting behind the wheel of her car, slowly trailing him down the road.

“No.” He said briefly, shaking his head and quickening his pace.

“I just want to talk to you about my beast.”

“Oh no. No no no. You’re not roping me into whatever this is.”

“Ok, well since he likes you so much you can _have _him.” Persephone smiled, still rolling idly alongside him.

“I won’t take him!” Hades bit back smugly.

“Oh, but you’ve _got _him.” Persephone said, innocence dripping from her words.

Hades spun in a tight circle, staggering backward when he caught sight of his silently trailing companion.

* * *

“Once this creature is at that farm, I am done.” Hades sat in the passenger’s seat of Persephone’s car, alternating between glowering at her and monitoring the monster in the back seat.

“Oh, of course! I really do appreciate you being so willing to help.” Persephone chirped.

“Railroaded. That’s the term you’re looking for.” A viscous glob landed with a sickening plop on Hades’ shoulder. He looked up to see the strange beast gnawing happily on the headliner of the car. “Look. Eating your car. Serves you right.” He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and tried to remove the monster spit from his blazer.

“Oh, I suppose he's hungry. Such a good boy!” She reached back to scratch the animal under one of his chins. One of the other heads smiled happily, a large string of spittle flinging into Hades’ hair.

“Oh!” Persephone stifled a laugh.

“I suppose you would think this is funny. I’m meant to be getting married and I’m here, being dragged to a farm, and now covered in monster drool.” Hades said dolefully.

“Psht. There’s a shower at the farm. We’ll get you all cleaned up, no trouble!” she smiled and patted his arm genially. Hades had to admit he liked it when she smiled at him. His stomach clenched at the thought of a shower with her anywhere near him. He should feel guilty thinking like that, shouldn’t he? This was his gods forsaken wedding day. To Minthe! But she had made her intentions regarding their marriage crystal clear and his stomach didn’t clench thinking about her.

Just Persephone, the being of absolute frantic energy that had him covered in mystical beast slobber and consistently upheaved even the simplest of tasks.

* * *

Hades stood under the hottest spray of water he could manage and scrubbed furiously at his hair. Apparently multi-headed beasts had very stubborn saliva.

They had arrived at the farm and managed to corral the animal into one of the horse stalls by baiting it with bits of meat. It had seemed happy enough to do as they asked, provided there were snacks. Having been installed on a thick bed of straw, the creature flopped on to its back and two out of three heads began snoring. Persephone had wanted to stay there, continuing to give the indeterminate animal belly rubs and morsels of chicken, but Hades had insisted that he be freed from his obligation.

Persephone had guided Hades to a spare bedroom with a dedicated shower so he could do his best to make himself presentable.

Turning off the shower, he stepped out and wrapped himself in a towel. He scanned around for his clothing and noted with rising alarm that it wasn’t where he left it. Peering around the bathroom door he saw Persephone sitting on the bed, wrapped in a large white robe.  
  
“Persephone, where are my clothes?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, I sent them to be cleaned. Can’t very well wear clothing that’s been covered in beast drool.”

Hades’ jaw dropped and he retreated back into the bathroom, yelling from around the door “What do you mean SENT?”

“I had the gardener take them to town. Should only be a few hours.” He peeked around the door frame and she met his gaze, her face the very picture of innocence. Hades knew she was absolutely not.

“I-I don’t _have _a few hours and you know it! I’m due back for my wedding!” Hades ran his hand through his damp hair, fighting the urge to rip it out. Frustration. Maybe she was the goddess of frustration.

“Well, what’s done is done. There’s a robe hanging in there. You can wear that for now.” Persephone hopped down off the bed “I’m going to go take a shower myself.” She smiled and hurried out of the room.

Hades checked the hook and found the robe Persephone had mentioned.

“Persephone! Persephone get back here I can’t wear this!” Hades regarded the garment with dawning horror, his only options being nudity, a towel, or… that. Throwing the robe on, Hades darted into the other bedroom. Persephone had already taken up residence inside the bathroom and the shower was running.  
  


“You! You get out here right now and help me find some clothes or I’ll come in and get you!” Hades hollered at the closed door.

“Oh, Hades, you wouldn’t!”

He lunged to grab the doorknob, but she was right. He wouldn’t, though a strange part of him certainly _wanted _to.

“Wait! Where is the gardener’s room?”

“Why?”

Hades sighed “Because he owns CLOTHES, right?! He’s got to have clothes. Clothes are clothes.”

“Sorry Hades, can’t hear you over the shower!” Persephone answered back in a sing-song voice.

“Oh, you hear what you want to hear! I’ll find it myself!” Hades growled and darted out of the room.

* * *

Demeter parked her car on the gravel driveway and made her way towards her home. She noted happily that her daughter’s car was in place in the garage. She had planned a lovely dinner party for the evening and Persephone would make such a welcome addition. Demeter’s heels clicked smartly on the wooden floor as she removed her coat and driving gloves.  
  
And walked directly into a hulking blue man wearing her daughter’s gauzy, feather trimmed dressing gown.

* * *

Hades was almost certain now. Persephone had to be the goddess of embarrassment.

“What are you doing?” the green goddess in front of him shrieked.

“What are _you _doing?” Hades asked, still scanning the living area for another door.

“This is _my _house! Who are you?!”

Hades leaned down and muttered “You know, I’m not quite sure today.”

“Where are your clothes?”

Hades’ eyes flashed red “I’m _missing _my clothes.”

“Obviously, but why are you dressed like that?” the slim emerald woman bit back.

“Because I just felt like being _pretty_!” Hades bellowed in desperation. 

Persephone came barreling out of her room only to mutter “uh oh” and try to run back in.

“Kore! You get over here this instant and explain this!”

Persephone froze and turned about face with a huge beaming smile. “Mother! How lovely to see you! I wasn’t expecting you quite yet!! You know…”

Hades tuned out as Persephone chattered merrily at her mother. He flopped down to sit on the stairs with a floomph of pink gossamer and feathers. How? How can all this happen in the span of two days to one person? This has to be a curse, right? Who could he have made that mad? He idly chewed on his nail until he caught Persephone rambling “…but having had a nervous breakdown I can’t very well leave him alone!” Hades looked up at her quizzically.

“I haven’t had a breakdown! I just want to get married!” he hollered.

"Absolutely not! Kore you are not marrying this strange man! Not while I have anything to say about it!"

"QUIET!" Hades roared.

Persephone and her mother froze. Hades stood and advanced slowly towards them.

“You. You can help me.” He began through gritted teeth “Perhaps you can help me find some clothes.”

“Y-yes” the green woman pointed to a door near the stairwell.

Hades strode quickly to the room and shut the door behind him perhaps a bit harder than needed.


	3. A Good Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Daalex for beta reading. ❤️

Hades rifled through the closet in the gardener’s room and managed to drum up a riding coat and a pair of pants a solid 4 inches too short, but it was better than being naked and covered in pink feathers. At least something was beginning to go his way today. He was just fishing a pair of sandals from the bottom of the closet when Persephone burst through the door, thumping him firmly in the head with it.

“Oh! Hades! Oh no, I’m so very sorry. All my fault.” Persephone gasped with a hand over her mouth.

Hades fell back, landing soundly on his ass. Shaking his head, he said “You know, I get the impression most things probably are.”

Persephone reached out a hand to help him up and he took it tentatively. He knew full well that even taking her hand could result in something going completely wrong. Disaster. Maybe she was the goddess of disaster? Aside from that, touching her at all was troubling as well. The electric feeling in his gut every time he made contact with her was becoming harder to ignore.

“Look, I just need to get back to the Underworld and hopefully get another meeting with Hecate. Maybe I’ll get supremely lucky and she’ll believe that I wasn’t the one hiding in her garden pelting her with rocks.”

Persephone’s face brightened “Oh but then you should stay here! She’s my mother’s lawyer.”

A deep sense of dread settled into Hades’ gut. Oh, but the fates are fickle. “Could you tell me, who is your mother?” he asked slowly.

Persephone smiled “Oh her name is Demeter. She’s the goddess of the harvest. We stay mostly in the mortal realm.”

“T-the mortal realm?” Hades choked out.

“Well of course! The mortals worship her, she makes certain there’s grain, the mortals eat the grain. Whole circle of life, don’t you know.” Persephone’s hands fluttered like small birds when she spoke.

“Ohhh no.” Hades groaned. “Persephone, I need you to listen to me. _Please _don’t tell your mother who I am. My kingdom is having an issue with the rate of incoming shades. I need every possible contact in the mortal realm right now.”

“Oh, I see. Well, I’m afraid you haven’t made a very good first impression…” Persephone trailed off.

“I realize that.” Hades said, working to control the clipped tone creeping into his voice. “Tell her anything you like. That I’m some kind of friend from school. I’m a hitchhiker you picked up in Vermont. Tell her I’m crazy if you must, but _please _do not tell her that I am Hades, King of the Underworld, ok? And please don’t mention I was trying to meet Hecate since _she _thinks I was skulking in her garden throwing rocks at her.”

“Well, of course Hades.” Persephone softly smiled at him.

If Hades hadn’t already met the goddess of beauty, he may have guessed that title belonged to Persephone. Her smile always had the distinct feature of sending his heart racing.

“At any rate, my mother knows what you look like now…”

  
  
“Y-yes, well perhaps I can communicate with her over the phone. Through letters. Or through a proxy even. Just don’t tell her, ok?”

Persephone nodded sagely, placing a finger over her own lips.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I need to make a phone call.”

* * *

Hades exited the house to find Persephone sitting in a swing on the front porch. He landed next to her with a heavy sigh and stared dazedly into the horizon.

“Phone call not go well?” Persephone asked breezily.

“No. My phone call did not “go well”. How could it? How was I supposed to explain to my fiancée that I am stuck out in the country waiting for my clothing to arrive and have that conversation “go well”?”

“Oh, Hades. I really am sorry. Maybe she’ll be able to reschedule.”

He shook his head, still staring into the distance. “She said that this is “indicative of my character” and she’s quite glad she discovered it before we were married. There won’t be a wedding.”

“Well that will be just fine!” Persephone chirped and pushed the swing with her feet.

Hades slid a sidelong glance at her. “Remind me never to talk to you when I have bad news.”

She tsked at him “Well, if she can’t see her way to understanding that you had a predicament, you shouldn’t marry her anyway. Getting married is lovely! Don’t you think weddings are just beautiful? I think attractive men should be married, but if she won’t be even a tiny bit flexible…”

Hades cut off her digression “Again. I am hours from where I should be. I am not wearing my own clothing. There is some kind of three headed monstrosity in the barn. I _missed _my own wedding. And every single time I get anywhere near you something absolutely insane happens. That’s not asking for a “tiny bit” of flexibility. That’s asking Minthe to throw all reason to the wind and… and… I don’t think I would marry me either.” Hades lamented, dropping his head into his hands.

“I would marry you, Hades.” Persephone said nonchalantly.

Hades peered at her “But you don’t even know me.”

Hades didn’t get to hear her rationale, as the door was opened by a nymph who delicately cleared their throat.

“Oh hello, Thea!” Persephone called out.

“Ma’am. The gentleman’s clothing has returned.” She bowed slightly and made her way back into the house.

Persephone clapped her hands together “See! That’s wonderful. Everything is going to be fine. And since you’re in no hurry to get back to the Underworld you can stay for dinner and help take care of our lovely little creature!”

“_Lovely little creature?!” _Hades scoffed “Words have _meaning_. You know that, right?”

Persephone waved her hand “Of course. Don’t be didactic.”

She stood and smiled at Hades gently. “You should probably go get changed for dinner.”

* * *

Hades entered the dining room, blessedly now dressed in his own suit. Persephone heard his tread on the floor and turned to face him. Gods, she was beautiful. She had changed into a cream-colored dress of some kind of fabric that flowed like water when she moved. She breezed over to him, grasping his hands and smiling radiantly up at him. Smiling. Maybe she was the goddess of smiling. Hers was certainly the only one he had ever encountered that could make his heart thump like it was.

“Oh, you look so handsome in a suit!” she drawled, gazing up at him with soft eyes.

“Well, frankly the basis for comparison makes that easy enough.” Hades stifled the urge to run his thumb along the back of her hand.

Demeter cleared her throat with a glaring look heavy with meaning. _Not her. Not for you, strange negligee man._

Hades blushed and dropped Persephone’s hands. Why did that feel like a loss? Shifting his attention to Demeter and her guest he noted the statuesque purple goddess who had joined them for the evening. She regarded him with a cold, measuring eye that made Hades feel very on guard. Demeter gestured between Hades and the new guest.  
  
“This is Aidoneus...”

Hades extended his hand “Pleasure to meet you, Aidoneus.”

The purple goddess raised an eyebrow and accepted his hand. “Artemis…” she said slowly, casting a questioning glance at Demeter.

Hades looked up in confusion, only then noticing the small pink figure to the left of Demeter pointing at him and mouthing “_That’s YOU_”. He clamped his mouth into a hard line. Of course, it was.

“Yes,” drawled Demeter slowly “this is Artemis, she is also a big game hunter. I’m afraid our final guest has been detained but will likely join us after dinner.” She gestured towards the lavishly set dining table and moving to take her own seat.

Hades found himself seated next to Persephone and immediately felt anxiety settle in his stomach. The odds of getting out of dinner with her without an injury weren’t exactly in his favor.

“As you were saying Artemis, the hunting on the southern deserts was particularly bountiful this year?” Demeter asked, glancing between Artemis and Hades. “Did you do any hunting on the southern deserts this year, Aidoneus?”

“H-hunting?” Hades gaze snapped up to his host’s face.

Before he could get any clarification, a strange howling noise rang out and the group started and peered at the windows. “What on earth was that?” Demeter asked, hand pressed to her chest. Hades cast a meaningful look at Persephone. He had a pretty good idea what it could be.

“Sounds like an entire pack of wolves all at once” Artemis said, brow furrowed in confusion.

Persephone’s eyes grew wide “Oh! I suppose Aidoneus and I can go find out!” She grasped his hand and hauled him bodily out of his chair. “Nice night for a walk anyway, you know!” Hades stumbled out of his chair and had no choice but to follow the small agent of chaos into the night.

* * *

Hades stood in the barn staring at the open stall door. He could have sworn this was where they had put the creature. Maybe it wasn’t? He had been pretty focused when they arrived. The only clear giveaway that something was truly awry was Persephone’s wringing hands and soft, repeated cries of “Oh no”.

She bit her lip and wondered aloud, “Are we certain that beast doesn’t know how to become invisible?”

“Are you really suggesting that it opened the door and chose to stay here, but in an invisible form?” Hades asked, brow raised.

“Is that really any worse than half of your ideas?”

Hades’ jaw dropped “_My _ideas? Not one fraction of any of this has been my idea! Our relationship has been a series of misadventures from start to finish, _none _of which were my idea. Speaking of ideas, you changed my name to Aidoneus?”

“Well you didn’t want my mother to know who you are!” Persephone gawped at him.

“Do you think…” he loomed towards her, peering down his sharp nose “That information might have been helpful to someone?”

“S-someone?” she shifted uncomfortably under his assessing gaze.

“Yes. Namely, me?”

“Well… I suppose I could have told you your name.” She cast her gaze down to her feet.

“Am I safe to assume that I am the other big game hunter your mother alluded to?” Hades clamped his mouth into a hard line.

“Oh, Hades I’m sorry! I-I just saw Artemis and I just said the first thing that popped into my head!” She looked up to him, eyes beginning to glaze with tears. “Will you at least help me find our creature?”

“I don’t know if I should! Everything feels like a terrible idea. I just want to go back to the Underworld!” Hades lamented.

“Oh, but Hades, we’ve got to find that little baby!” Persephone pouted up at him.

Hades sat down on a bale of straw. Perhaps if he dedicated some serious thought to the matter he could ferret out where exactly his life had gone so far off the rails. Before he could wallow too deeply in his thoughts a croquet mallet came flying from his left, nearly taking his nose clear off his face.

“What in the...?!” He whipped his head around to see Persephone standing, hands on her hips, holding a fishing net.

“Come on, Hades. We are going good boy hunting.”


	4. The Hunt

Hades was entirely certain he was cursed now. How else could he explain that he was tramping through the woods in the dark, wielding a croquet mallet and searching for a mythical beast that may or may not want to be found. Persephone flitted around from tree to tree, toting a fishing net that was entirely too paltry to hope to contain the beast, but far be it from Hades to try to explain that to her.   
  
“Baby! Oh, little baby! Good boy!” Persephone called, checking each tree as though the hulking mass of black fur could be hiding behind any of them. She had neglected to yet name the creature and switched seamlessly between whatever endearments she could think of. Hades felt this gave the overall impression that perhaps they were looking for a bunny rabbit.

Another wild howling noise rang out in the distance and both Hades and Persephone froze. “Good boy!” she yelped and made to dash ahead of Hades. He grasped her arm, swinging her bodily back into him, and wrapped his arm around her back. He stared down at her in disbelief. “You can’t just go running off into the woods because you heard a _monster_!”

Persephone pouted back up at him “You are being perfectly silly. You know that’s the little angel! Let’s go get him.” Persephone tried to break free of Hades’ embrace, but he held her fast.

“You have absolutely no proof of that!”

“I’m sure you’d allow your other lady friend to go.” Persephone squinted up at him, daring him to say differently.

“I wouldn’t have to! Minthe wouldn’t be running in the woods at night chasing beasts.” Hades whispered sharply. He became acutely aware of the fact that he had Persephone pressed against him when a small voice in his mind said _Minthe wouldn’t do this either. _He swallowed thickly as his heartbeat rang in his ears. Maybe he should let her go, but his arms didn’t seem to cooperate. Indecision. Maybe she was the goddess of indecision.

Persephone made the choice for him, taking advantage of his uncertainty and raising her arms directly above her head to slip out under his arms and sprint away towards the source of the noise. Hades yelped her name and broke into a run, following her into quite possibly the waiting jaws of a _something. _Persephone had resorted to singing to try to draw the creature’s attention. The staccato sounds of her voice as her feet hit the ground at least made it easier for Hades to find her.

_I can’t give you anything but loooove baby! That’s the only thing I’ve plenty of baby!_

Hades felt his heart pulled into his gut by the lyrics. Plenty of love. Why was he suddenly wishing she would share that with him? He was running full bore through the woods, in the dark, towards the sounds of danger, but he was finding himself feeling strangely drawn towards the flashes of pink flying between the trees.

“Why don’t you sing Hades?” a flash of pink.

“Absolutely not. I can’t sing.”

Another flash of pink to the left. “Nonsense! I’m sure you’ve got a fine voice!”

_Dream a while, scheme a while. We’re sure to find happiness, and I guess, all those things you’ve always pined for!_

All those things you’ve always pined for? But what if he was pining for _her _now?

* * *

Persephone had lost steam and now strolled at a leisurely pace through the woods, softly humming the chorus of her song and only occasionally calling out for the creature. Hades followed a pace behind and watched her picking her way through the undergrowth, swinging her fishing net. Something about the way she moved was absolutely mesmerizing him.

Until she suddenly dropped out of sight with a yelp, shaking him from his daydream.

“Persephone!” Hades called to her and sprinted over to the point she disappeared, only to discover exactly why she had disappeared as he began sliding down the same sheer drop off. He landed at the bottom on his hands and knees, with a small pink face framed between his hands.

“Lucky catch.” Persephone smiled up at him. Hades blushed furiously and quickly scrambled off of her, feeling no small amount of shame over the direction his mind had been headed.

“Define “Lucky”” He groused, eliciting a laugh from her.

“Well I suppose _that _could be considered lucky?” She pointed over his shoulder and grinned. Hades stood and turned to find a small creek, with a huge black figure on the opposite bank, frolicking with a raccoon, all three tongues lolling from their respective mouths.

“I suppose Hermes meant that the beast likes dogs to _play _with. Isn’t it just precious?!” Persephone squealed; eyes alight. She scrambled to her feet and skipped over to the bank of the creek and stood watching the two animals play wrestle for a bit. Hades regarded the creek with a critical eye.

“How deep is this?”

Persephone grasped his arm and led him directly into the water. “Oh, it’s very shallow we can just walk right across…” and he almost believed her until the water rose over his head. Wrong. She was obviously the goddess of being unbelievably wrong. Hades broke through the surface, flailing his croquet mallet and trying to find shore. Persephone came crashing through with a cry of “The creek beds changed!”

“Changed?!” He hooked Persephone under the arm and dragged her with him.

“Did we make it to the other side?” Persephone’s hair covered her face in a solid pink sheet.

“No!” Hades barked at her as she peeled her hair away from her eyes “We are exactly where we were, but now we’re _wet._”

“Well since you were in you might as well had gone across!” Persephone huffed in indignation.

“Since I’m _wet,_I’m going to!” Hades yelled before diving back into the water and making his way to the other side. Persephone flung herself gracelessly into the water to follow behind him shrieking “Don’t leave me!”

They both clambered on to the bank, breath heaving. “Look, all the splashing scared him off.” She was right. Though they had made it to the other side, the bank was now vacant of both raccoons and beasts. Hades managed to quell the urge to dunk the small pink woman back in the creek, but only just barely.

* * *

Shadows danced through the small clearing, cast by the fire the pair had set. Persephone sat nearby, carding her fingers through her hair, trying to dry it in the ambient heat of the fire. Hades had hung up his coat, and tie and removed his shoes and socks. He stood near the fire trying to dry what clothes he still wore. Inconveniences. He was clearly with the goddess of inconveniences.

“This would have been much less trouble if we had a bath house.” Persephone mused.

“Oh. Sure. I’ll make sure to line that up for next time. There must be portable bath houses for people like you. There _must _be. Of all the goddesses in all the realms, I had to meet you.” Hades grumbled to himself.

“Oh, don’t be grumpy! It’s such a lovely night! There’s moonlight and a fire, and I do so like being with you” Persephone threaded one of Hades’ socks on to a stick and held it above the fire to dry. Hades stomach twisted at her admission. He couldn’t rationalize it. He liked being with her too, but the madness had to stop.

“I don’t care how _lovely _it is. Today was supposed to be my wedding. That’s gone. You told your mother I was crazy, didn’t you?” Persephone nodded.

“You changed my name to Aidoneus, and you didn’t tell me. You told your mother I was a big game hunter and you didn’t tell me. You tell anyone _anything _that pops into your head and you don’t tell _me._”

“Oh, your sock.” Persephone held the stick with Hades’ now flaming sock on the end of it.

“That’s fine. I don’t care anymore.” Hades sat down heavily and watched while Persephone shrugged and threw his other sock in the fire to join its twin.

“Yeah. Just go ahead.” He said resignedly.

“Oh, I suppose you could have worn… oh well. There is something else I haven’t told you. Hecate is coming to visit my mother this evening.”

Hades groaned “That’s it. That’s the end of working with the Mortal realm. Hecate is sure to tell your mother who I am. She’ll never remember the years of me competently ruling the Underworld. No, she’ll just remember that I winged her in the head with a rock last night, she _thinks._”

Hades stood and kicked dirt over the fire, extinguishing the flames and with it the warmth. The sooner they found the creature, the sooner he could retreat to the Underworld and lick his wounds. Headlights panned over the pair as a truck rumbled down the road nearby. Of course, they were right along a road and they took the creek.

Persephone grasped his sleeve and pointed wildly “Hades! Look at the back of that truck! They’ve got our baby!” In the darkness he could make out a black mass with undulating heads in the caged back of the truck. Two figures stood nearby arguing about which direction to take. “Great! Not our problem anymore.” He shrugged into his coat and headed towards the road. “I can go home and forget that the past 48 hours ever happened.”

“Oh! Hades, no! We have to free him! Who knows what they will do to him!” He looked down into her pleading eyes. Damn it. He couldn’t be responsible for that look.

“Fine.” He gritted out. “I’ll talk to the drivers. You go get your beast.”

* * *

The two satyrs stood at the front of the truck, using the pool of light from the headlights to read a map. “That’s not right. Is the map upside down?” the taller of the two asked while the smaller satyr twisted the map every which way trying to make sense of it.

“Hello, can I help you?” Hades called as he clambered over the low rock wall at the side of the road.

“Uh, yeah. You know the way to Bridgemouth?” the short satyr asked tentatively, recoiling slightly at the sight of the huge disheveled man appearing out of the underbrush carrying a croquet mallet.

“I’m not going to Bridgemouth.” Hades said, surreptitiously peering towards the back of the truck for a small pink figure.

“Yeah, but _we _are, buddy.” The taller satyr puffed his chest out and raised his chin by way of trying to intimidate Hades. That would be difficult at the best of times but was now nigh impossible as his attention was divided between the men and making certain his companion didn’t get eaten.

“It’s that way isn’t it?” the smaller man pointed the direction they had come from.

“Yes.”

“But I could swear it was _that _way!” the taller man pointed in the direction they were headed.

“Yes. That’s right.”

“Well which is it, buddy? We haven’t got all night!”

Persephone saved him from further interrogation, sprinting around the vehicle to pull on Hades’ sleeve. “He’s escaped!”

“OH! He’s escaped. Want us to help you tie him up, lady?” the short satyr squinted at Hades warily as the larger one cracked his knuckles, clearly looking for an excuse to fight.

Persephone chattered wildly and dragged Hades back into the woods. “Oh, I wish I knew where we were!” she lamented as they scrambled through the undergrowth.

“Probably somewhere near Olympus at this point.” Hades growled as he spun in a small circle trying to regain his bearings. A small pink body seemingly catapulted itself into him, knocking his feet out from underneath him and rolling them both forcibly down a hill. They came to a rest at the bottom in a heap of pink and blue limbs.

“What in Tartarus are you doing!?” Persephone wriggled herself on top of him to be able to meet his face. Oh gods, when had she torn her dress? Hades gaped at her leg exposed completely up to the hip, straddling across his lap. Don’t pay attention to that when she’s on top of you, you fool! His heart leapt into his throat and he was fairly certain he’d stopped breathing. Persephone swept her hair out of her eyes and smiled down at him innocently.

“We fell.” Persephone gazed dreamily into his eyes.

“I noticed.” Hades grasped her shoulders and near threw her off of himself before his body decided to embarrass him. He clambered back to his feet and headed off, continuing into the woods.

Persephone giggled behind him “Oh, I’ve broken my heel! Look, Hades!” She tromped merrily back and forth laughing to herself and humming a small tune, her height changing three inches with each step. She trooped lopsidedly up to him and marched in place for a moment. Up. Down. Up. Down. “Look at me. I was born on the side of a hill!”

Hades reached out to grasp her shoulders, stilling her manic pace. “Persephone! Look, we need to stop this. You need to go home.”

“Oh, but we’ve unleashed a beast on an unsuspecting countryside! We can’t just give up!” she pouted.

“You misunderstand me. I want _you _to go home.”

Persephone’s face crumpled and Hades felt as though he’d been punched in the gut. “Y-you don’t want me?” Want her? She asked that and he _wanted_, alright. He wanted to bundle her up in his arms and kiss her until that frown was gone. Damn him for giving it to her in the first place, but this was getting entirely too ridiculous.

“You mean you don’t want me to help you anymore?” Persephone asked, tears welling in her eyes.

“No.” Gutted.

“And after all the things I’ve done for you?” Her tears began falling in earnest now.

“Yes.” Another kick to the gut.

“Well, I know enough to go when I’m not wanted!” Persephone wailed “And don’t you think about me! I’ll be just fine!” she backed away from Hades, tripping over a tree root and sprawling to the grass. She hit the ground with one fist and remained sobbing on the ground.

“Persephone! Are you ok? Are you hurt?” Hades leapt over the tree root, crouching to inspect her for injury.

“It’s not that! It’s just that I’m miserable. You-you don’t like me anymore!” she moaned, lightly hitting his chest with a small hand, tears still falling.

“Oh… that’s not it, Persephone.” Hades dropped to his knees, gathering her into his arms.

“Everything I do with the best of intentions goes wrong!” she curled up into Hades’ embrace, tears soaking his shirt with each hiccuping breath.

“Oh, darling. It’s not… well, yes, it does.” He ran his hand through her wild curls and ran a hand along her back, trying to calm her.

“Oh Hades! _Please _let me come with you!” She placed a hand along the side of his face, tilting hers to meet his gaze. Her eyes sparkling with tears broke Hades’ heart. Gods, this precious, riotous, little thing. He tucked an errant curl behind her ear and let his hand linger against her cheek.

“Hades…” she said softly and leaned closer to him. He could feel her hot breath. Fates forgive him. He was wanting again.

“Yes?” he murmured in the moment before their lips met.


	5. Who?

Hades’ eyes snapped open. Oh gods, what was he doing?! He broke away from Persephone’s lips and stared at her, wide eyed and panicking.

“Oh! You do like me!” Persephone crooned, glowing with happiness.

“I-I…” Hades choked on what he wanted to say, but what could he say? Yes, I like you very much, but you terrify me? You are intrinsically dangerous to be around, and I should run screaming regardless of feelings? He was saved from having to answer her by the sound of a feral howling in the near distance.

Persephone bounded to her feet, stepping on her dress and tearing yet another piece away from the hem. “Oh, stuff and bother!” She grasped the hemline and pulled on it, stripping away the offending chunk of fabric. She looked down, assessing her handiwork and moving her legs now free of the obstruction. “Much better”

Better? Hades was fairly certain he couldn’t breathe. He was certain he wouldn’t be able to if she kept losing pieces of her dress. He shrugged out of his coat and placed it over her shoulders. She was so small that it did a fair job of covering her better than the tattered remains of her gown. She smiled up at him and threaded her arms through the sleeves.

“Come on! That’s the little angel!” she grasped Hades’ arm and led him, once again, into the darkness.

* * *

The grand manor stood alone on a rambling plot of land, secluded by the size of the property, yet totally out in the open if one just happened to be tromping across the lawn searching for a missing beast. Persephone stopped short, causing Hades to walk directly into her and knock her sprawling to the lawn.

“Persephone!” Hades yelped and dove to his knees to help her up. Persephone giggled and used his shoulder as a crutch to stand. She rewarded him for his overreaction with a small kiss to the corner of his mouth that made his stomach twist and warmth run through him.

“Thank you” she made a great show of bowing to him “My white knight!” and giggled. Hades blushed and bowed his head slightly. Fighting her whimsy and chaos every step of the way hadn’t gotten him anywhere. Maybe it was just time to join her team. Compromise. Maybe she was the goddess of compromise.

Another wild keening noise sounded; this time much closer. Both Hades and Persephone whipped their heads about, finally settling on the manor house. They tentatively approached the home looming in the distance, moonlight spreading along the peaks and eaves painting deep pockets of shadow along the roof. As they came closer one particularly deep pocket of shadow undulated, stretching its long limbs and yawning with three large maws.

Of course. It’s on the roof.

“Little baby!” Persephone loudly whispered at the figure. It swung its heads to regard her and let out a deep WHUF noise.

“How in the…” Hades trailed off. He shook his head, but the creature was still there. Perched on the roof of a country manor. Mocking him. You haven’t been able to catch it thus far, so come get it off a _roof_. Persephone happily made her way towards the manor singing the whole way.

_Oh, I can’t give you anything but love baby! That’s the only thing I’ve plenty of baby!_

“Persephone! Shhh!” Hades hissed and ran after her. The last thing they needed was someone to… his thoughts trailed off as alight came on from one of the upper floor rooms. “At least don’t throw a rock at whoever that is!”

A purple man with long hair opened the window and stepped onto the balcony. Very unfortunately Hades knew who that was.

Zeus.

God of gods.

Just got woken up by a small pink goddess of something singing at his window.

Zeus stared down at Persephone singing with a brow raised as though he wasn’t entirely certain he wasn’t dreaming. “Who are you?” he finally asked.

Persephone took one break in her song to say “Persephone. How do you do?”

“What in fate’s name are you doing?”

“Singing. _Happiness and I guess…”_

Zeus pinched the bridge of his nose “I noticed. But WHY are you singing at my house in the middle of the night?”

“Well you didn’t ask that” Persephone answered innocently “I’m trying to get my beast.” She gestured vaguely at the roof eave to his left and carried on with her song.

Zeus disappeared from the window, closing it sharply, drawing the attention of the creature. Hades stood back trying his best to fade into the yard until the creature decided that back of the house might be more fun, stretched its legs and loped across the roof, disappearing from sight.

“Beast! I mean little baby!” Hades shouted and bolted around the house. Just as he rounded the house, Zeus came out the front door with a dozy looking Hera following behind.

“Why did you have to slam that window?! He’s gone! We’ve been chasing him all night!” Persephone pouted and pointed at the now empty roof line. Zeus glanced up at it and back to her.

“Sure. Sure, young lady. We’ve been chasing him. That’s why he was on our roof!” Zeus said in a slow patronizing voice. He approached Persephone slowly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to lead her towards the house. She immediately scented danger and began to struggle against him “No! No! I have to find Hades and the baby!”

“Ohh you had a baby with the King of the Underworld. Suuuure. And then it went on our roof? Yeah.” Zeus clamped her arms to her sides and picked her up to bring inside as she called in vain for help.

* * *

Hades was having no luck in the back garden. Though well-manicured, the garden still cast too many shadowy areas for him to be able to locate the creature.

“pspspsps beast?” he called as he poked about a rose bush with his croquet mallet.

This was foolish. Hades sat on a wrought iron bench in the center of the rose hedge and sighed. He’d kissed her. _Kissed _the mad little woman. Shouldn’t he feel guilty? He was supposed to be married to Minthe right now, but he felt nothing but a strange sense of relief on that front. Whatever he had felt for her when he asked her to marry him, she had made certain to extinguish every time it flared up. But Persephone? She was just thrilled to be with him, no matter that their entire relationship up to this point had been a complete disaster. But… if he was completely honest with himself, he wanted to kiss her again and again. Insane circumstances or not.

Hades became dimly aware of a red and blue swirling light being cast in the front yard, and his heart leapt into his throat. Persephone wasn’t singing anymore! Hades dove to his feet and sprinted to the corner of the house to peer into the front yard. Oh no! Zeus had called someone to come pick her up! Hades could do nothing but watch as she was spirited into a car by a muscular purple god and quickly taken away.

Creature hunting be damned, now he had to find Persephone!

To Hades’ knowledge there was only one place that could have taken Persephone. Within the mortal realm there was only one place they could detain gods and goddesses that got out of control. Thankfully, he remembered it being close to here. He made his way down the road as quickly as he could, beast forgotten for now, worried about how scared Persephone would be. He knew that Apollo would be the one holding her captive and that was no comfort at all. He had a reputation for taking what he wanted form anyone he wanted.

Fear dropped, hard and fast, into Hades’ stomach at the thought of Persephone trapped with that shitty little sun god and he began running.

* * *

Persephone lay on the thin cot at the out of realm detention center, hands threaded together over her stomach. The brash purple god had called to have her removed from his property. He and his golden wife hadn’t believed her that her beast had been on the roof of their home and she had been wrestled into a waiting car by a younger purple god. Maybe the one at the house was his dad or something. They seemed pretty chummy. Persephone sighed deeply and began humming her song yet again.

“Shut up in there!” her captor yelled and threw a cup at her cell.

“You are not very nice, you know that?” She rolled her head back to look, upside down at him.

“It’s not my job to be _nice _when someone shows up screaming at the King of the Gods in the middle of the night.” He muttered.

“I wasn’t _screaming _I was singing. The beast likes it. I told you, me and Hades were trying to catch my beast.”

Apollo sighed “You keep mentioning the King of the Underworld, but no one saw him. No one saw any beast. You’re staying here until we figure out who you are.”

Persephone let out an indignant humph noise and settled back to stare at the ceiling.

Suddenly, a harried looking blue figure came bursting into the detention center. “Persephone?!” Hades shouted, looking about wildly for her.

“Oh! Over here, Hades!” She leapt up and reached through the bars to wave him over.

“Thank the fates.” He grumbled and dashed over to her cell “What happened? Are you ok?” he scanned her face for signs of distress or injury. She looked, blessedly, fine, smiling at him and eyes shining with happiness.

“HEY!” Apollo darted over and forced himself between them, puffing his chest at Hades. “No approaching the prisoner unless I say so, who are you?”

“I’m Hades, Kind of the Underworld. Release her right this minute!”

Apollo crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Hades with pursed lips. “Sure. _You’re _the King.” Apollo gave Hades a once over glance “This crazy lady has been talking about you all evening, _your highness. _Do you always make a habit of running around in the night, filthy, missing clothing, and swinging a croquet mallet?” he asked as he slipped the weapon from Hades’ grasp.

“I _am _the King and she’s not crazy. We just need to find her creature.”

“Suuuure. Sure, man. We’re already out looking for it!” Apollo was slowly stepping into hades bodily and forcing him to step backwards. “Maybe you can just wait here with her until we find it?” He smiled a huge, predatory grin. Hades took a few more shuffling steps backwards before Apollo lunged at him and drove a shoulder into his chest. Already off balance, Hades fell backwards, sprawled out into a jail cell. Apollo slammed the door shut and locked it with a huge key.

“You can just wait right there. You’re just as crazy as she is!”

“That was a dirty trick.” Persephone said lowly, shaking her head “I don’t think I like you.”

Apollo rounded on her, looming up to the bars. “Oh. The crazy lady doesn’t like me? You wound me.” He dropped his gaze up and down her bedraggled form, vulture like gleam in his eye. “Of course, we could maybe reach some kind of… accord?” Persephone drew back from the bars, wrapping Hades’ coat more closely around her.   
  


“I think I’d just like to call my mother.”

“And just who would that be, my dear girl?” a smoky voice sounded from Persephone’s left and she smushed her face back up to the bars to try to catch a glimpse of who was speaking. The golden goddess from the manor home came slowly into view, waving a hand dismissively at Apollo to shoo him away.

“Demeter” Persephone said in a distorted voice, face squished between the cell bars.

The golden woman laughed “There is absolutely no possible way that _you _are Demeter’s daughter” she cast a withering eye at Persephone “She would never allow her daughter to run about in the middle of the night, dressed like _that, _and in the company of some strange man.” She turned on her heel to assess Hades in his cell across the narrow walkway.

“Who is this one claiming to be?” The sparkling woman asked Apollo.

“King of the Underworld, your majesty” He bowed his head to her as she approached the cell door.

“You’ve met me before, Hera. Remember, a few years ago at the Panathenaea?” Hades wrapped his large hands around two bars and looked Hera in the eye.

“I meet a good many god and goddess at those events. You can’t really expect me to remember every single one?” Hera waved a hand, conjuring a cigarette between her fingers and took a deep drag.

“N-not even the King of an entire realm?” Hades asked nervously. He was really banking on being recognized at this point.

“Not a king who shows up so seldom, if ever.” She turned to direct her attention back to the small pink goddess’ cell. “Now…” she began, jaw set in a hard line “We know what is really happening here, don’t we? Middle of the night on vacation at our country home in the mortal realm and you _just happen _to be singing a love song outside my husband’s window. How long have you been seeing him?” Hera leaned into Persephone’s face; cigarette smoke wreathed around her form.

“Fine. Ya got me. Want someone to talk, I’ll talk. I’ll talk so much I’ll make your hair curl.” Persephone placed a hand on her hip and bumped it out, raising her other foot to rest on the jail cell door, pouting her full lips at Hera and speaking in a voice lower and more crass than her own. Hades’ jaw dropped. She had changed from bubbly and sweet to seductive and cunning in a second. He hated to admit that it did something deeply visceral to him. From the look on Apollo’s face it did to him too.

“That’s what I thought” Hera drew herself up to her most regal posture and gave a disparaging look down her nose at the young goddess.

“Nah, it ain’t what you think, lady. I had my reasons for being there, but it ain’t got nothing to do with him. Get me outta this here cell and I’ll spill the works.” Persephone smiled a devious smile and bit her bottom lip waiting for Hera to make her decision.

“Whatever this is, Persephone, just don’t. It’s not going to work. It never does!” Hades clung to the bars of his cell door, pleading with her to stop whatever game she was playing.

Hera signaled Apollo to open the cell door and Persephone clung to it, kicking off the floor and swinging out into the walkway with a flourish. “See ya, Pluto!” She grinned and waved at Hades.

“Pluto? I thought you said this was Hades?” Apollo raised a brow at Persephone.

“Nah! That’s not Hades. Name’s Pluto. God of a wealth.” Persephone hopped down off the cell door.

Apollo stared distrustfully at Hades “God of wealth, huh?”

“No. God of _a _wealth. Just one.” Persephone held up one finger and walked towards the jailer’s desk.

Hades released his hold on the cell door and sat down on the cot with a groan “She’s just making all this up out of books she’s read!”

Persephone scoffed and sat in Apollo’s chair “Sure, sure Pluto!” she said patronizingly and winked at him “Can’t be getting caught now can ya?”

Hera rounded the desk and perched daintily on one of the other chairs “Caught for what, miss?”

“Got one of those cigarettes for me? No smokie, no talkie.” Persephone kicked her heels up onto the desk with a loud thump.


	6. Beasts

Hera started at the sound of Persephone’s shoes striking the dark wood. She grimaced and conjured up another cigarette handing it to the young goddess.

“If you’re out, you’d better be talking, or you’ll go right back in there” Apollo pointed roughly at the vacant cell.

Persephone waved her hand dismissively “You’ll get what you want, keep your hat on.”

“Well, let’s begin with how you know my husband” Hera said, crossing her legs and glaring at Persephone.

“Yeah, see I don’t know him so much as I know _of _him. Of course, that’s all through Pluto, there.” She hiked a thumb back over her shoulder indicating Hades in his cell.

Hera’s brows raised “_He _knows my husband?”

“Not so much, I guess. He did the stake out.” Persephone blew three rings of smoke into the air and smiled.

“Stakeout? Are you implying that you were there to steal from us?” Hera beckoned to Apollo and handed him a notebook off the desk, her unspoken instruction to capture what was being said.

“No! I did no such thing!” Hades yelled, jumping up to stand at the bars again “She’s making all this up!”

Persephone pulled her legs down off the desk and sashayed over to his cell “Oh, and I suppose I made up seeing you with that red-haired skirt, eh?” Hades jaw dropped. This couldn’t be real. Dreams. Maybe she was the goddess of really bad dreams.

Apollo leaned against the cell speaking to Persephone “You mean he’s cheating on you?”

“Oh sure! Wouldn’t be running my mouth if he hadn’t tossed me over for another gal! He’s a wolf, this one.” Persephone gave Hades a cynical once over glance.

Hades flopped back down onto the cot “Oh, now I’m a wolf.” He growled, glaring up at Persephone. She seemed to be completely oblivious to his discomfiture.

“He burns right through ‘em! One! Two! Three! Tosses them right out.” Persephone snapped her fingers as she counted

“Oh, I am going to toss you out alright.” Hades grumbled.

Apollo sat down at his desk and began taking notes “Pluto. God of wealth”

“A wealth.” Hades corrected in a mocking voice.

“Thanks. A wealth. So, he does the stake outs?” Apollo peered up at Persephone through the clouds of smoke.

“Sure! Sure! Sneaky, that one. Best use for him.” Persephone winked at Hades, causing him to clamp his teeth and glower at her.

“So, what were you after?”

“Oh, the scepter, you know! Get a lot for that from our fence.” Persephone paced over to the window “Mind if I open this, getting thick in here.” She opened it without waiting for an answer and paced back over to the desk.

“Unconscionable!” Hera lamented “As though my husband would ever let it out of his sight?”

“Well, that’s where I come in, lady.” Persephone wiggled her eyebrows and shimmied her shoulders suggestively. Hades wished he’d had a chance to say goodbye, because Hera was definitely going to kill her.

“WHY YOU LITTLE…” Hera’s eyes flashed dangerously as she approached Persephone.

Apollo leapt between the two women, guiding Hera back over to the desk and setting her down in a chair. “Can’t get information from a corpse, Hera! Cool down, you can take out your wrath later.”

Hades laughed a low laugh from within his cell, watching as Persephone took her opening to slip out the open window and out into the night.

“And just what is so funny to you, Pluto?” Apollo barked over his shoulder.

“Nothing. Not a single thing.” Hades threaded his arms through the bars and rested his head on them, still chuckling darkly. “But I can’t imagine you’ll be getting much information from an empty room either.”

Both Apollo and Hera whipped their heads towards the window and back to Hades. He shrugged and sat back down. Whatever was happening was happening, and like usual he was just along for the ride. Apollo dashed to the window just in time to see the taillights of his car fading into the distance.

“Why didn’t you say something?” snarled Hera.

Hades just lay back on the cot, threading his hands behind his head “Seemed like it might not be under the purview of the god of an individual wealth.”

Apollo and Hera both started berating Hades simultaneously and he was finding it particularly difficult to care. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself just before a sharp voice rang out through the room cutting through the din.

  
  
“EXCUSE ME, but is anyone working here?” Hades raised his head a bit and peered out from one eye.

Demeter and Artemis. Just perfect.

“Yep. Just on time. Can’t go 20 minutes without a problem.” He muttered and laid back down.

“Apollo, I need your help.” Demeter breezed up to him “My daughter is missing.”

“What do you mean your daughter’s missing? We had some criminal in here earlier claiming she was your daughter. Found her at Zeus and Heras.” He gestured at the fuming golden goddess.

“Well my daughter would have had no reason to be there. That couldn’t be her.” Artemis placed a comforting hand on Demeter’s shoulder.

“Oh, of course Demeter” Hera said sadly “She certainly wouldn’t have been running around in the middle of the night with that strange man either.”

“Strange man?” Demeter and Artemis exchanged a meaningful look. “What strange man?”

Apollo took a step to the side and gestured at the occupied cell “This one.”

“Aidoneus?” Demeter asked squinting at the disheveled figure in the cell. 

Apollo shook his head “No this guy is some criminal named Pluto. God of wealth.”

“Just one.” Hades prone form corrected raising a single blue finger.

Demeter shook her head “No, this man is named Aidoneus. He’s a big game hunter. He was with us for dinner this evening.” Artemis glared at Hades distrustfully. “Who was he here with? What did she look like?”

Apollo gazed upward, gathering his paltry thoughts “Pink. Curvy. Sexy.” Hera smacked him with the back of her hand.

“She was young and seemed quite shy at first, but that must have been a ruse. There’s no way a daughter of yours would behave in such a delinquent manner, dear.” Hera patted Demeter’s hand kindly.

“Before she dropped the act, she was talking about finding a beast.” Apollo volunteered “Any reason your daughter might be looking for a beast?”

“If there were a beast to be found she would have asked me.” Artemis scoffed.

“You think!” Hades hollered from his cot.

The voices again rose to an absolute nebulous torrent of sound. Hades sat up on his cot and opened his mouth to speak but considering no one would hear him he just waved his hand dismissively and lay back down. He wondered idly where Persephone had gone. After all, it was rather rude that she had gotten him into this whole mess, then decided to frame him for a crime they had no intention of committing, and escape. Lies. Maybe she was the goddess of lies.

Slowly the voices petered to a halt and Hades raised his head to find out why. All eyes had turned towards the entrance where Hecate was primly removing a pair of driving gloves while a nervous looking Minthe stood near her. Hades had thought this couldn’t get any worse, but here it was.

Worse.

In all its messy glory.

“Excuse us, but we were told Demeter would be here?” Hecate glanced around, her face breaking into a small smile when she found her. “What is the emergency, dear?”

“Persephone is missing” Demeter started “and this scoundrel might have something to do with it!” She gestured to the cell where Hades had his eyes slammed shut, praying to disappear.

“Hades? What in the realms are you doing in jail? “Hecate approached the cell door. “Minthe called me this evening saying you were acting very strangely, and I have to say I agree. What did you mean by hitting me in the head with a rock last night?” Hades leapt to his feet and approached the goddess of the Crossroads.

“You mean this man really is the King of the Underworld?” Hera asked, mouth covered with a delicate hand.

“Yes,” Minthe stepped forward “Though it seems he hasn’t been acting the part.” She said coldly.

“Minthe, Tadpole. I can explain…” Hades reached through the bars to her, but she recoiled.

“Somehow, I doubt that, Hades. Now that I know you are ok…” She began to lay into him, but the door to the detention center banged open once again, this time admitting two satyrs with a road map. “What now?” muttered Apollo and moved to speak to them.

“Hey, umm, we are looking for our...”

“If you say “beast” I swear to Tartarus…” Apollo cut them off.

“Well, yeah. We were transporting a black, multi headed beast to Hercules. He’s supposed to slay it. Thing’s a killer.” Everyone’s heads turned to face Hades.

“Don’t look at me!” He raised his hands defensively “We’ve been chasing that thing since it escaped your barn” he pointed at Demeter.

“Escaped? Nah, pal. We’ve had that monster locked up for weeks.” The tall Satyr eyed him suspiciously “Hey! Right after we talked to you was when it went missing. Where’s that crazy dame that was with you?”

Hades’ stomach dropped to his feet. “I suspect she’s out trying to catch _her _beast… but she freed _your _beast from the truck…” The reality of the situation hit him like a bolt of lightning. “Apollo! Apollo, you’ve got to let me out! I have to go find Persephone!” Apollo inserted the key into Hades’ cell and moved to turn it.

“Don’t you dare!” Demeter shouted and every voice in the room began arguing yet again. Hades hung on to the bars of the cell door and closed his eyes trying to calm himself. All this bickering was getting them nowhere and Persephone was out in the darkness with multiple beasts running about. He opened his eyes and realized Apollo had left the key. He turned it and left the cell. Everyone in the room was so engrossed with arguing that no one noticed him walking towards the exit until the doorway was filled with a huge black figure with multiple heads.

Everyone’s simultaneous screams were deafening, and Hades cringed. “See!” he pointed at the creature “We _told _you there was a huge multi headed beast.” He moved back to allow the monster to duck into the station, where it happily spun in a circle and laid down on the floor in front of the radiator.

“Well, that ain’t our beast, fella. You can’t get anywhere near ours.” The short satyr peered around his companion.

“Yeah. This is, well, baby, I guess? We didn’t name it.” Hades reached out a hand and stroked one of the beast’s massive heads. The crowd of onlookers tentatively began creeping forward to inspect the creature when a small pink figure came through the door backside first and at a violent angle.

“Oh, come ON! You’ve been slapping at me the whole way here! I’m just as determined as you are so you just might as well come with me!” Persephone tugged on the rope leading outside. She turned and smiled brightly. “Oh! Hades! Look! I’ve got… baby?” her face scrunched into the picture of confusion as she cast her glance between the leash in her hand and her beast curled up on the floor.

Hades approached her slowly “So, don’t panic… but there’s more than one beast out this evening, it seems…” He reached a large blue hand to take the rope lead from her.

“Oh… oh Hades…” Persephone whimpered.

A second hulking black figure pressed its way into the doorframe.

It was black.

It had multiple heads.

But that was where the similarities ended. This creature had reptilian heads that glared malevolently around the room.

“THAT is our beast!” the tall satyr shrieked and dove into an empty jail cell. Within a second, everybody in the room aside from Hades and Persephone had followed suit, leaving them alone with the two beasts. The not baby began advancing towards them.

Hades grabbed the chair from Apollo’s desk and began jabbing at the creature with the legs of it, trying to slow it down or deter it in some way. “Persephone! Get in the cell with your mother!”

“No! Hades I won’t leave you!” She clung to the back of his shirt.

“Please do what’s best for you, for ONCE!” he hollered, fending off the creature that was slowly backing them towards the cells.

“No! I can’t. I love you!”

“WHAT?!” Hades shrieked, startling the advancing monster who snapped at him.

“Yes! I love you! I love you more than any man I’ve ever met!” Persephone rambled on while Hades’ thoughts dissolved into a discordant hum. Another swipe from the advancing fangs snapped him out of it.

“Persephone! I, damnit!” Hades swung open the cell door with Apollo inside. He screamed and clambered out of the cell and wrenched open the door to another, barricading himself with Demeter, Hecate, and one of the satyrs.

Hades lunged again, and baring his teeth, aimed the chair at the central face of the beast, causing it to back up sharply. He repeated the gesture until the creature was all the way into the cell, then slammed the door.  
  
“KEYS!” he yelled, leaning against the bars, breathing heavily. Persephone retrieved the forgotten key ring and Hades slammed a key home into the lock and turned it sharply. The creature inside growled at him and he leapt back, leaning into the wooden desk as the adrenaline draining from the encounter began to leave him feeling weak.

Persephone began chattering at him again “Oh! Hades, you’re wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! You’re my hero, why I’ve never seen anything so brave!”

He heard more voices floating in and out as his world began to fade to black.  
  


* * *

“Well, at any rate, I am glad I found out you were so… frivolous before I married you.” Minthe stood in front of Hades’ desk, coat and purse still on. She had come to deliver her formal resignation not only from their relationship, but her job as well. She turned on her heel and marched sharply out of the office.

“Frivolous. Now I’m frivolous.” Hades shook his head and collapsed into his desk chair. It had been two days since he had run through the mortal realm in the dark and trapped a hydra (he now knew it was called) in a jail cell. He had no idea how his life was going to recover from it all.

At the very least the numbers of incoming shades for the past day seemed to be back down where they were meant to be. He placed his elbows on the desk and rested his head in his hands. Good thing it sorted itself out since he had effectively burned every bridge to the mortal realm he could have utilized. A soft knock at the door shook Hades from his musing. He raised his head to beckon the person in and met the gaze of the last person he expected to meet.

  
  
“Persephone…” he breathed.

“Hello.” Persephone answered in a tiny voice. She was dressed in a structured skirt and blazer the deep jewel yellow of a sunflower. A small hat sat on top of her wild curls with a small net that fell across her eyes. Hades’ heart swelled and warmth settled in his stomach at the sight of her. Happiness. Maybe she was the goddess of happiness. Hades stood and moved around the desk to greet her, engulfing her small pink hands in his large blue ones.

“Oh, Hades. I had to come. I needed to see you… to apologize.” Persephone looked down to her feet. “I just wanted to keep you around so badly… I kept doing and saying anything that came into my head.” She met his gaze again and Hades heart twisted to see the tears pooling in her eyes.

“No! Please don’t apologize! That… those two days were probably the most fun I’ve ever had!” He ran a thumb along her cheekbone.

“Really!?” Persephone beamed

“Really! I don’t think I’ve ever had a better time. And… Persephone… I think I love you.” He could only hope what she had said the other day hadn't been just because of the excitement.

Persephone gasped and threw her arms around him “Oh, Hades I love you too!”

He placed a hand under her chin and tipped her head back to allow him to press his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hummed happily into the kiss. Hades broke away from her and led her over to the couch against the wall of his office.

“It’s a good thing my issue with the mortal realm seems to have sorted itself. I can’t imagine anyone affiliated with the mortal realm would want to help me now.” Hades chuckled and threaded an arm around Persephone’s shoulders.

“Oh. I figured out what that was. I fixed it.” She said nonchalantly, smoothing her skirt.

Hades gaped at her “You knew? W-what was it?”

“A famine. A little one. But it’s ok I fixed it.” She smiled up at him, tracing a hand along his jaw.

“How could you fix it? I thought your mother was the goddess of the harvest?”

“She is, but I can do it with my own powers. Didn’t you ever wonder what I do?” Persephone raised an eyebrow mischievously.

“Constantly.” She just smiled up at him “So, what is it?”

“Spring. I’m the goddess of spring.”

Hades broke into a grin and laughed “Of course. Chaos. Change. Life. That makes perfect sense.”

A muted whuf noise sounded from the doorway and Persephone looked over to see the beast standing there.

“OH! My good boy! I wondered what had happened to him! You took him home?” she darted over to lavish the creature with tummy rubs and scritches.

“Sort of. Turns out he eats souls, so he’s a guardian here now. Persephone, I would like to introduce you to Cerberus.” Hades walked over and gave the guardian a pet. “He’ll have a home with me for as long as he wants it.”

“A home with you. That sounds lovely.” Persephone stood and walked into his embrace.

Hades once again enfolded her in his arms, pressing a kiss to her lips, and thanked the fates that spring had come.


End file.
